The blonde girl and the train: South Africa's great divide

“Hey stranger, what are you up to? ;)” was the text message I received the other day. It was a not-so-subtle attempt at flirtation from a blonde South African girl I had met a few days before in a bar but had only exchanged a few words (and phone numbers) with. I was pleasantly surprised that she had taken it upon herself to contact me. “I’m on the train, on the way back home from work. How was your day?” was my reply. 

Then, with just seven words, she managed to turn my modest curiosity in her into distinct disinterest. “You do train..not scared? Brave boy!!”

Let me explain.

"Huh, what did you say to me?"

First of all, (to any ladies reading this) never call a man you hardly know a ‘brave boy’. It sounds like something a grandmother would say to her 5-year old feeble grandson, whilst patting him on the head for resisting the urge to cry at the sight of a spider. I’m not five, I was never a feeble child, and you’re not my grandmother - don’t call me a ‘brave boy’.  It’s a blow to my ego is an attack on my persona of being a tough guy. Men want to be made to feel like men – not like little boys being patted on the head..

Now that that’s covered, let me explain what the real problem with this girl’s text message was. It was the assertion that, being white, I should not take the train. Indeed, I ought to be afraid of taking the train, because only the poor black and coloured people take the trains. This attitude has bothered me since the first week I moved to South Africa years ago...the majority of white South Africans live privileged lives that are completely disconnected from the realities facing the majority of South Africans around them. As a result, South Africa today remains a country with deep divisions, both physical and social.

Contrary to this girl’s, or indeed the majority of white South African’s belief, it’s not only drug-dealers and thugs who take the public transport (trains and minibuses); 90 % of South Africans do. That’s because they cannot afford cars. The only people who can are the same paranoid whites,  many of whom have never once set foot in one of these minibuses (which they refer to as “chocolate boxes”).

Since the majority of South Africans take public transport every day, there I was, at 5 in the afternoon, sitting on the train next to a group of giggling 8-year old school girls, a 90-year old grandfather with a walking stick and a big African mama who asked me to help carry her shopping bags...

Yes, I was terrified.

It’s not only this girl who lives in this frame of mind; I come across it all the time. And it’s only partially the girl’s fault. Her parents and friends have told her that it is dangerous. The awfully sensationalist media fuels these fears. The result is a complete state of paranoia and distrust amongst white South Africans. (I need not mention that there are of course many exceptions, but I write here about the majority.)

There’s no denying that South Africa has incredibly high crime statistics. But I wasn’t riding the train through a township at midnight. And more importantly, the fact is that 95% of crime and violence occurs in townships, far away from the white suburbs, and is between poor blacks and coloureds.

It is a widely-held view in sociology that the level of violence and crime in a country is a reflection both of its level of inequality and of the state of its society’s moral fabric. South Africa needs some serious healing and reconciliation in both instances... Otherwise the great divide that runs through this country will continue to cripple it.

Maybe I’ll start by organising a group train ride with my white South African friends one afternoon. “Come on guys”, I’ll say, “It will be an adventure!”

But I won’t invite that girl.  She called me a ‘brave boy’ after all.